Football is “The Hard Way”

We lost the other night. I’m still bitter. Not at the loss but how some of our boys conducted themselves (especially, those on the sidelines). I wrote this open letter to our players and shared it with my JV head coach. He’s printing it out and taping it to their lockers.

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Life is test after test after test. Trial after trial after trial. It’s uncomfortable. It’s a struggle.

But don’t get me wrong—it’s also beautiful. Awe-inspiring. Goose-bump giving.

But just as surely, there is loss after loss after loss. Heartbreak and hardship. And in those moments of suffering, of disappointment, you will turn to others, looking for shelter.

Will they be there?

As you get older, you come to realize the truth: there are only a few who will go the hard way with you. Only a few.

In The Lord of the Rings, Frodo began his journey with eight others by his side—a Fellowship, each with their own heroism. But when the road grew hardest, when it demanded everything, only one remained by his side until the very end: Samwise.

Sam refused to give up. When others couldn’t carry on, Sam was there. He knew how to go the hard way, shoulder to shoulder with his friend.

When the opponents are easy to beat, we are a team, a Fellowship of 50-something players. But when the opponent shows up, when they punch us in the mouth, when adversity hits, that number shrinks. It shrinks fast. Too fast.

It becomes blindingly obvious who is willing to go the hard way with us.

For some of you, going the hard way is instinctive.

It’s who you are.

You don’t need to be convinced of its value.

But for most of you, the hard way is something you have to learn. It’s a skill, something you need to practice, over and over, until it becomes part of you. And that’s part of what we, as coaches, are here to do—teach you what it takes to commit to this way of being.

This isn’t just what happens on game-day.

This is about going to school and doing well in class, staying eligible.

This is about staying out of trouble, avoiding fights.

This is about sticking with your weight training.

This is about seeing Ms. Jess and taking care of your injuries.

This is about watching film.

These are hard things to do. They take time. They take effort. They take commitment.

But not doing them comes with a cost—a cost we paid Thursday night.

The truth is, we started that game at a deficit.

They scored on us days before we ever set foot on the field.

They scored when two of your brothers got into that fight and got suspended.

They scored when too many of you missed practice.

They scored when some of you didn’t take care of the little things that prepare you to win.

But here’s the thing: we still could have won.

We didn’t lose because of fumbles or missed tackles.

We didn’t lose because of getting beat deep.

We lost because of the in-fighting, the second-guessing, the throwing down of helmets, the cussing up and down the sidelines. We lost because some of you turned on each other, pointing fingers and looking for excuses when things got tough.

These are things that boys do. We don’t want boys. We want men.

Instead of rallying together, instead of focusing on what we needed to do as a team, some of you spent your energy blaming others or looking for a way out.

We lost because only a few of you know how to go the hard way.

But the question isn’t why we lost—it’s how do we change?

How do more of you step up to join those few who already know the hard way? How do you become one of the people others can count on, not just in football, but in life? Do you want to be the person your friends and family turn to in their darkest hour?

If so, you need to change.

We have three weeks left in this season. Three weeks not just to play football, but for you to prove something to yourselves. Three weeks to join the few who already know the hard way.

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This post is part of my latest book project titled: “Football is _______”

Every two weeks, I’ll fill in the above blank with a word or phrase and tell a story. I’ll do that for 52 weeks and then compile the posts into a book of essays.

I’d love for you to join me on this journey and share your thoughts or stories along the way. If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it with others who might appreciate it as well.

Stay tuned for future updates on instagram (@blucollarprof).

Read previous posts in this series.

Thanks for reading! – shawn